Pigs Fly!

This is GNN.

God’s Network News, bringing you all news heavenly and to truly live by.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you a live report.

Let’s go to our reporter in the scene. (cap)

Good morning to our viewers.

This is Katie Cleric reporting to you live.

There has been an incredible development.

We have concretely disproven the long held theory

that swine cannot be air borne, that porky cannot flit, that a hog simply is incapable of hovering.

The idiom that something impossible will happen when pigs fly can no longer be used.

We now have proof that: pigs fly!

Repeat: Pigs do fly.

I am here at Hiram’s Hotel, about five miles west of Jericho on the road to Jerusalem.

As you know the road from Jerusalem to Jericho is notoriously treacherous.

It starts in Jerusalem about 1200 feet about sea level

and in just 15 miles it drops to 1000 feet below sea level.

It is full of twists and turns and ledges were bandits

and robber lie in wait for an unsuspecting passerby.

It is a well known site for thieves and other mayhem.

In fact it is called the Blood Highway.

Yesterday it lived up to its name.

A man was brutally attacked and left for dead by one of these groups.

But it was through this heinous crime that the remarkable discovery was made about flying pigs.

Let’s get more from the man who witnessed this

spectacular turn of events, Mr. Hiram.

Mr. Hiram is the owner and proprietor of the

luxurious resort chain Hiram hotels, when you are here your home.

Hiram, in your own words can you tell us what

happened and why you claim pigs fly? (apron)

Thank you Katie, for covering this story and being a

loyal member of the Hiram Hotel chain.

What has happened is incredible and truly life

changing.

We all know, all too well, the hatred that exists

between Jews and Samaritans.

We used to be one big happy family.

There was no distinction between Jews and

Samaritans we were simply the Hebrews.

When Moses rescued us from Egypt and we crossed

the Red Sea we were not Samaritan and Jew

we were simply Hebrew.

But when we got to the promised land we decided to

move to a royal bloodline and we thought we needed a king like our neighbors

and that’s when the trouble started.

There was a family feud that split the Hebrews into

the Samaritans in the north and the Jews in the south.

Each claimed that they were the true descendants of

Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

We each taught that we were the true Hebrews, the

pure Hebrews, the right Hebrews.

The Samaritans believed in only the first five books

of the Old Testament.

We Jews say, no you’re wrong, there are also the

book of kings, chronicles and all the prophets

like Isaiah and Jeremiah.

We each taught our kids to hate the other,

perpetuating the division for generations.

This hatred and racism has gone on for hundreds of

years.

The fighting just getting worse and worse as time

goes by.

Just last week the Romans were here because a mob

of Jews attacked a Samaritan woman.

We are bitter bitter enemies.

It is so bad in fact that Samaria is in the smack dab

middle between Jerusalem and Galilee and no good Jew will even step foot in Samaria, even though its the quick direct route.

Jews walk way around avoiding Samaria at all costs.

And vice versa, Samaritans stayed as far away as

possible from Jewish parts.

That’s how bad it is.

Anyway, last night the lobby here at Hiram’s was

full, camel convention in town.

The room was buzzing with chatter, with people

checking in, getting directions, networking.

I had to bring in extra staff to handle the event.

But that’s what you get at Hiram’s Hotels, full class

service.

When all of a sudden the room went quiet…quiet…I

mean you could hear a pin drop.

People’s jaw’s dropped and they all were looking at

this this man.

People began to back away.

One lady screamed and fainted.

For in walked a Samaritan.

We knew he was a Samaritan by the way he was

dressed, the way he looked, with those hoodies

they like to wear up over his head.

Not only that, he was carrying a Jew.

It was easy to tell he was a Jew from his beard and

his clothing.

The Jew was hurt and unconscious, maybe even

dead, it was hard to tell.

The Samaritan was carrying him.

This simply could not be happening.

Samaritans, were like priests and Levites, they had

to maintain cleanliness.

They could not be close to a a distance from sick or

dead person otherwise they would be ostracized

and need a special bath.

In fact up until that moment we would say a Hebrew

touching a sick or dead person

would happen when pigs fly.

The Samaritan walked up to the desk and asked for a

room.

But the only room we had available was the

presidential suite, the very height of luxury.

The Samaritan said he’d take it.

He gave us his Hebrew Express card.

Said he had to leave, but if the Jew need anything,

just charge it to his card.

Anything, anything at al, the sky was the limit for

this Jew, the Samaritan said.

We gave him the key and the Samaritan took the

man up to the suite.

I went with him of course, that’s the service we offer.

When the Samaritan laid the man on the bed, I could

see right away that he had taken care of the Jew,

with clean badges and antiseptic.

The Samaritan covered the man and then put a hand

on his head, not to check for fever, but with a

tenderness, more like a blessing…and then the

Samaritan just left.

Well, not before he slipped me several denarii for the

excellent service.

Yesterday, Katie if you had asked me if a Samaritan

would ever help a Jew I would said: when pigs

fly.

Well, pigs are flying, Katie, pigs are flying! (cap)

That is an amazing tale, Hiram.

Thank you for being with us and filling us in on this

Good Samaritan.

To recap for our viewers.

A man, a Jewish man, was badly beaten and left for

dead in a ditch.

He was unconscious.

Other Jews passed by, but they did not stop, fearing

it was a trap or worried that they would be

contaminated and ritually unclean.

A Samaritan, a bitter enemy of the Jews, stopped and

aided the man.

The wounded man, being unconscious, could not

refuse the help of his enemy.

He was totally at the Samaritan’s mercy.

But wait.

Here comes Jesus.

Jesus, who just last week was himself rejected by the

Samaritans.

Jesus who knows first hand the hired between these

two groups.

Let’s get his perspective on these events.

Jesus, Jesus its Katie from GNN.

Hello Katie and viewers everywhere.

Glad to see you again, especially on this day.

I just love the tag line: Pigs fly.

Kosher is turned upside down.

It will be a HOG time in the the old town tonight.

The Samaritan brings home the bacon.

I wonder if he helped with his SOOEY-case.

I needed to make you smile because too many folk

think church and me are BOAR-ing.

Everything we think has been shattered by this

account.

Look.

This story, this news event, sums up God and my

mission.

This story is a snap shot of what God does.

God is the Samaritan.

God shows up in a ditch, the ditch of life here on

earth.

Just like no one ever thought a Samaritan could do

anything nice or good….no one ever thought

God would come to earth.

God, leave heaven, leave all that power behind,

leave safety, leave angels and become human

when pigs fly!

But here I am.

Impossible.

Unheard of.

Ridiculous.

And yet that’s what I did.

Just like that Samaritan, I came down to get in the

ditches of life with you, because humans are

always finding themselves in ditches, in heart breaking, soul defeating times.

The ditch of sickness.

The ditch of tragedy.

The ditch of hatred.

The ditch of death.

No matter who you are you will encounter ditches.

Just like the Samaritan, God wasn’t going to let

prejudice or our differences, or our history, come

between us.

Not only that, no matter what you have done, even if

you are a hated and despicable person.

No one is beyond God’s reach.

No one.

No matter what you have done.

Nothing is too atrocious.

Think about that Katie.

I am with you in the ditch.

When things are hopeless.

I am there.

When the pain is overwhelming.

I am there.

When the wounds have festered and you stink with

guilt or any kind of corruption.

I am there.

With you.

And just like the story, you will not die in the ditch.

I promise you.

I will bring you out.

I will tend to your wounds.

I will give you life.

Together we can get through anything.

From violence to chemotherapy.

From surgery and disease and despair to dying and

death.

That’s what this story teaches us.

Nothing is too difficult, too painful.

Nothing is too hopeless or to beyond changing.

Pigs indeed do fly.

Pigs fly. (cap)

Well, thank you Jesus.

Folks, you heard it from the Son of God yourself.

There is a deeper truth to these events, more than

just a story of being kind to those we dislike or

who are different from us.

This story tells us about God.

God gave up everything, turned his back on the

division between divine and human, to be with

us, to rescue us from where ever we find

ourselves, and from whatever befalls us.

Watch the skies folks.

In the face of adversity, calamity, or anything else,

know this: PIGS DO FLY.

This is Katie Cleric and that’s the good news for the

day.

GNN